Doesn't go to Stanford AU
(In which hopes and dreams are crushed)
Beneath the Trees 'Verse by minviendha
Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees (also here and here) - The fic that started it all. John gives the ultimatum. Sam makes a different choice.
As Long as They Please (also here
and here) - Sam's life is very, very empty. Also, Dean gets a girlfriend. It doesn't work out. (Nothing does.)
Catch Them Unawares (also here and
here) - The YED would like to talk to Sam. It's not very effective. Meanwhile, Dean tries to get through to his brother and John is unhelpful.
Safer to Stay at Home (also here and
here) - Dean and Sam have some Quality Time. Things look up. Maybe.
You'd Better Not Go Alone (also here and here) - No one is happy. Sam's good at pretending. Life goes on.
Fade by InTheCompanyOfDragons
Sam knows he has dreams outside of hunting... His escape is the acceptance letter in the bottom of his bag. But he can't leave his family. His choice to stay leads to a whole new world of pain for the Winchester's, leaving them to wonder of Sam should have left his family behind him.
Hunted by AngstyAly
He lifted the gun again, put it to his temple, grinding his sweat soaked hair against his skin, finger trembling on the trigger. He was going to do it. The acceptance letter was reason enough. Let John read that as a suicide note.
Keep the Empty From His Eyes by Lenelle
John gets what he wished for, Sam pays the price. Pre-series.
Miles Before I Sleep by silverkit (also here)
Sam tore the letter up six miles outside of Wadsworth, Wisconsin, population 881.
What Might Have Been by Elizabeth Goode
What would have happened if Sam hadn't left home to go to college? Dean and John find out from Missouri about a possible future that was avoided when Sam left to go to Stanford. But, if it was avoided once, can it be avoided again?
Ultimatum by Pizza yum
The demon was defeated in Devils Trap leaving all three Winchester's wondering what to do. Sam want's to go back to school but his Dad once again gives him that stupid ultimatum.
For other flavors of suicidal!sam, or to leave comments, go to Suicidal!sam Compendium I Home
For suicidal!sam death!fic, go to Suicidal!sam Compendium II