45 by sikeminatural
'This is just something that I need to do and I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me…bye Dean.'
Adrift by Center of the Galaxy
But perhaps, Sam never even really knew his father. Not while he was alive and certainly not now that he had passed away. But the regrets and the lingering questions that kept racing through his mind? Those just might haunt him for the rest of his life. *A study of Sam and John's relationship throughout the years.
Be My Escape by Center of the Galaxy
If Dean won't fulfill John's last orders, then it falls to Sam. After all, father knows best. And if John thought that there was even a chance Sam might go evil, then that's all the youngest Winchester needs to carry out his final order.
Catharsis by BlueIris08
One way the angsty, drunken 'Playthings' scene didn't happen.
Crimson by tattooeddevil (also here)
Sam is terrified he is going to turn evil. Dean has made it clear beyond a doubt that he's not going to kill Sam, even if he does go darkside. So with no chance that Dean will save the world from his brother, Sam decides to take care of that himself.
Dawn by by Center of the Galaxy
Sam's at the end of his rope and is ready to end it all. At least this way, Lucifer won't be able to use him to start the apocalypse. With Dean and Bobby both gone, Sam's sure that he'll be able to do this in peace.
Dreams to Live On by Annonie
Missing Scene for Born Under a Bad Sign. Sam does the unexpected when Dean refuses to shoot him.
Free To Be You, Not Me by supernaturalsammy67
When Dean took out the knife, Sam's heart beat pistoned. It's Dean's job to tell him it's okay. Angst. Season 5.
Greek Tragedies by Ms Trillbatin
Sam knows Dean won't fulfill his promise, so there's only one option left for him...
Heart Weary by Spense
Sam is tired. And defeated. And overwhelmed. His reaction to that? Not so good.
Into The Dark by quarterwhore
Sam's afraid of turning darkside. But now he knows what he has to do.
It All Comes Back To You by lissa_ann(also here)
Post 4x18. Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the past months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it.
Keep On Building the Lie by GreenEyedLass
'I can't let it happen. I won't. I didn't have any control over it before, but this,' a quick flick of his knife wielding wrist, scratching a path up his arm that quickly welled with blood. 'This is how I can control it. How I can make it right.'
Last Line to Hang Onto by authoressnebula
Prompt from the H/C Meme: Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it. Dean stops him and comforts his younger brother.
sequel:All the Guilt to Let Go Of
Prompt from the H/C meme: Dean is having nightmares about Sam getting hurt because he let him down.
Let Me Bleed by Paige M. Carter
It would be so easy to just let himself bleed to death. Spoilers for 4x19 'Jump The Shark' Darkness and angst ahead.
No Demons Allowed by KKBELVIS
Missing Scene : Fresh Blood. Sam is scared. Gordon had said he was not human. That he should have the guts to kill himself….What if he was right?
Now Comes the Night by kaly
Secrets and lies, however well intentioned, come with consequences. Spoilers for 2x01, speculation for 2x05. Gen.
On The Edge of Death by snsw25kr14
Tag-5x01. Losing his brother's trust was the worst punishment God could have thrust upon him, now though the knife that lay in his hands would not only be his redemption, but also his salvation.
One Bullet by PiratelfDair
AU between Croatoan and Hunted. If John had said Sam was part demon, and if they still had the Colt, this could've happened. A discussion between the brothers brings out an old issue and resolves a new one.
Overdose by tifaching (also here)
Penance by LeighAnnWallace
'Fine! Just - fine. Freaking leave me a gun and get the hell out of here!'
Sammy's Anguish by FreckledAdvocate
Sam is suicidal; for all the right reasons. Will Dean be able to save Sam from himself or is he doomed to witness the brother he'd tried so hard to protect take his own life? Set soon after Born Under a Bad sign.
Six Feet Ain't So Far Down by authoressnebula
All he had to do was step out, and let his body fall. Six plus feet of wide spread sacrifice to the waters, and this would all be over. Early season 3 spoilers.
Sinking to the Floor by A Thing For Brothers
Knowing Dean was out there somewhere, hunting him, Sam knew he had to just end it himself.
The Choice by authoressnebula
One gun. One bullet. It's up to Sam and Dean to decide who will shoot the bullet...and who will die.
To Save a Life by Ryla Dante
He did not turn around, but his hands dropped to his sides. In his right hand was Dean's automatic. Jesus Christ. The kid's Swiss Cheese had slid off its Ritz.
Unthinkable by glassshoe (also here), and podfic here
After a week of riding shotgun in his own body, Sam needs to know that he's the one at the wheel. coda to BUABS.
Weight of the World by WaywardSons5160
Sam's discovery of a new ability leads him to consider whether it would be safer for Dean if he were no longer around.